I Cough and Sneeze and Gasp and Choke

Sick
by Shel Silverstein

"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

I wish that I was feeling better...but I'm not. I am skipping church so I don't infect all the little children sitting around me. It's been really boring, I've watched a lot of TV, I haven't watched mid-day television for a long time but it is amazing what they have on TV these days! Tyra Banks has a trashy talk show. TLC has a show about women giving birth, that's just weird! Who'd want a camera crew filming your birth?! And the poor camera man is wishing he would've accepted the gig at his local news station. Judge Judy is still around....are you serious?! It wasn't all bad I got caught up on my E! News and I was able to see how all my dear celebrities are doing. Plus I got to watch a bunch of What Not to Wear re-runs and my favorite was Joan Rivers and her Fashion Police Team critiquing the red carpet gowns for some award show! Boy does Joan Rivers get a lot of botox!

But overall Jed took care of me, he did all the grocery shopping and made dinner. He's been really great, but now he's catching what I had...life is so unfair.