Sunday, August 19, 2012

Just don't need to read only but the last sentence.

I need to vent for a little bit...Blogging is always really good for that right?

I love blogging, I miss it too much but I just can't find the time or the energy these days. There are plenty of days that I think of my blog and think that our family is missing out on a great record of the year, and at the end of this year when I go to publish my blog it will be a sad little book. That is one of my problems though is I think of things like that and it stresses me out. But I can't continue to compare my self to other's and their blogs and pinterest ideas and etsy's. Yeah I am a crafty person and I am certain that I could make all that crap I see and repin and like, BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME! So I just try to avoid it, like I have with my blog...just avoid it.

Right now I am so stressed out about life and everything that surrounds it and I feel like I can't get control of all of it. Since Jed started his night shifts back in May life has been beyond what I can handle. Around that same time work schedule picked up and I am swamped with work. Elliot continues to grow into a little terror, especially now that he is mobile. Today he pulled the DVD player off it's poorly secured stand and fell scrapping his little  head and leaving a huge goose egg...I am sure that is the first of many! But All of these things are just little things that continually add up.

About a month and a half ago I approached the bishop and told him I was so overwhelmed that I wanted to be released from the young women's...he said they would do it the following week. Well it still hasn't happened. Meanwhile I have just backed out and said I am unavailable, but every week I feel so incredibly guilty that I am not around to help. I would go but Jed works and that means I have to take Elliot, before then all it did was create huge contention at home and I hated that. So now I am really annoyed with our bishop and wondering why two weeks ago he released our secretary...I wonder if he confused her with me? Well either way I am still in the young women's and it not only bugs me it really stresses me out.

Last month we found out that Jed's company was being sold and he would be laid off. Needless to say we stressed about that. We didn't know if the new company would hire him back on and if so at what rate. Then, after his interview he was offered a move to Fairbanks, yeah, not exactly what we were expecting. So for several days we talked about it and discussed the possibilities. If we moved to Fairbanks, I would have to drop my classes this semester and it would postpone my graduation by another year. I was so worried about it but also interested in the money that we could save. After all that stressing, Jed decided that it wasn't enough money and turned it down. He luckily will be able to stay in his current position at his current rate. The new company, in my opinion, is not quite as good as the former but at least he has a job.

We sold my car, just to start cutting down on finances and because I have talked about cutting back to part time when school starts. But that means that I have to drive Jed's truck with the camper on it. It is a huge beast and it is impossible to park, it is scary to drive and I think I am going to have an anxiety attack every time I drive it. But we probably won't get a different car until November, because we are trying to get in a better financial situation.

So like I said before I have thought about cutting back to part-time when school starts. I have two semesters left of school. Fall I am signed up for 11 credits, most of them should be fairly easy, but they are busy work classes. Spring I will have my final classes that will be 12 credits and I am done. It makes me sick trying to figure out how I will do all of this. I feel so much anxiety and stress about getting my degree done but then I think there is no possible way that I will be able to do it while working and having a baby/husband. I keep thinking about cutting back to part-time but my current job wouldn't allow me to do that so I would have to find another job and that is almost worse than just staying where I am and I know my responsibilities. But the other thing is I don't know how we would afford to live in Anchorage on one salary. Besides, I would still need daycare and how do we pay for that without me working? Or I work part-time for the soul purpose of paying for daycare...It is stupid.

I have suspected that Elliot had a food allergy for several months. I tried to ask the pediatrician at his 3 month appointment, again at 6 months he finally gave a referral after I practically begged him for one, for allergy testing. Meanwhile, I tried changing my diet while he was breastfeeding, then after he was weaned we tried 3 different formula nothing really making a difference. He is what they call a happy spitter, he isn't fussy, he sleeps through the night, and then some. But he seemed to spit up more than a little bit, and he continues to spit up at 8 months...which is basically vomit because he is eating solids now. He also has eczema in his knee pits, back, head and torso. It seemed like his doctor said it was just usual baby stuff and that I shouldn't bother because he would grow out of it.  But after waiting 2.5 months for his allergy testing we finally had it done and he is allergic to everything:

Wheat, soy, barley, rice, beef, chicken, turkey, peanuts, potatos, and peanuts. This weekend we switched formulas again and it has already made a big difference. Typically at the end of his bottle he would scream bloody murder, I thought it was because he was still hungery, but It was probably because his stomach was upset. So now we are working to find alternatives to his diet, which isn't too bad because he doesn't eat too much right now. But as he gets bigger it will be a pain...but I am not going to think about it. I am just glad we have a little more knowledge and direction.  

In addition to all of this, I have started some medication that is making me very hormonal and I cried today while watching the traveling pant movie...which I had never seen before, and I am sorry I did now. I also cried while watching the West Wing that I have been watching the serieson DVD. makes me sad about America. I hate our country right now...just the government and politicians, Oh yeah and all of the people on Facebook that want to share their political positions! Didn't anyone ever tell you that you the fastest way to loose friends is to talk about religion or politics? I am here by deleting anyone on Facebook who shares anything about Romney/Obama (well except Wade, I have just learned to ignore most of his posts, but I like his other ones). 

I guess bottle line is I am overwhelmed and beyond stressed. If you have any suggestions please let me know!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

6 Months

Elliot had his 6 month check up today. We were anxious for this appointment because of all of the skin issues he's had....but guess what? His skin looked amazing, better than ever! I hate when that happens, just like when my car makes a noise and I tell Jed about it, but it never makes the sound again. I guess that is okay though, because what ever we are doing it is working, and he's getting better rather than worse, and he's thriving.

Elliot is hitting all his milestone no problem, he's rolling over and all around. He can sit up, the Doctor said he has excellent balance (that comes from his daddy...not me). And they were impressed at how social he was, because he is a very very happy baby.

He is very average, he's in the 50th percentile. His stats are:
16.5 lbs
26 1/2 inches long
42.5 cm Head

The doctor didn't have much to say about the possible dairy allergy, he said it just come from trial & error and to watch him closely. My conclusion is, I am not going to go out of my way to eat dairy, but I am also not going out of my way to avoid it either. I've replace milk at home with almond or coconut but as far as cheese and other things, I'm going to eat pizza and ice cream...about as much as I did before I started the diet. But his skin is getting better so that is very good.

 He is now rolling around and he can cover an area slightly bigger than his blanket...but he hasn't ventured too far. I am not looking forward to him being mobile.

 After his appointment he had a slight fever, he had a good long nap, but then was really fussy for the rest of the night. Though, he looks happy in the pictures below, that didn't last very long.

 He was really fussing and at 7pm he started acting like he was tired, but I was trying to get dinner ready and Jed was running late for work, finally I decided to put him in his bed and give him his pacifier, let him cry himself to sleep. I put him down and he immediately stopped crying and fell fast asleep. I hope he sleeps all night. I had hoped to get more done tonight since he fell asleep so early. But I've only blogged, and tried to upload some videos.
We have been giving him foods and he is loving them! I don't know what is wrong with the video, everything from our video camera is now shaky! I thought it was how I uploaded the pictures, but now I think it is our video camera. I hope we can get it fixed, but sad that all the other footage is like that.

Monday, June 11, 2012

A year without buying something new

So Jed sent me a link about this girl who went a whole year without buying anything new, besides basic needs, and replacements of things she was actually using. I think her point was she hated consumerism, but it was inspiring. At first, I thought oh yeah, I want to do this! Imagine the money we'll save... So I can then go out and buy all the stuff I want. It seems a little contradictory though. I wish I could be better with my money but I started thinking about it and I would have a hard time defining what was basic needs, and I'm afraid that Jed and I would disagree on what is a "necessity". In my opinion necessities include an expensive hair cut, facial/makeup products, and what about clothes? Does this mean I could buy clothes at thrift stores like DI? Otherwise, I think I'd be naked at the end of the year... Just kidding I'm not that hard on clothes. Jed and I jokingly said we were going to do this, but then I doubted my ability to do fact it gives me stress just thinking about it. I think I will settle for a tighter budget.  

I don't know,  could you go a year with out buying anything new?

Friday, June 8, 2012

A few Firsts

Elliot is getting so big! We weighed him while we were at costco the other day with a scale, he was around 17 is a big pain to lug him up and down our 3 flights of stairs to the top floor.  But he is getting such a fun personality. He is grabbing everything now. He freaked me out the other day because we have a tall rotating fan and I was standing near it and all of a sudden he grabbed the cage part and pulled it over! I was certain he just chopped off all of his fingers but he was happy as ever. I didn't even think his arms were long enough to reach it. We also have to watch all cups, especially those full of liquid.

He started cereals on April 27th and he now loves oatmeal. He is not a big fan of Rice. He seems to not like peas at all. The picture of him eating peas for the first time is the typical facial expression he made. However, we just fed him carrots yesterday (6/7/12) and he loved them. He got so excited about them and wanted more.

He has now mastered rolling from back to stomach with no problems. He struggles a little getting back, but he can do it. When he is happy he just rolls around on his blanket on the ground. If he is sad he will get to his stomach and just get upset and cry.

He is sitting up so good now! He almost has it all the way figured out, just occasionally he arches his back and falls backwards, but he's getting more balance each week.

His ezcema is an ongoing mystery. I cut out all dairy for a while and it made minor improvements. Then he broke out bad on his chin, so I decided to start eating dairy again. After a few days his ezcema got pretty bad again, but then we've been using some homemade lotion (courtesy of my parents) and his skin looks amazing, better than ever and that is with dairy. So now I am doubting the dairy allergy and thinking it's maybe just ezcema. Who know! We'll just keep watching it.

Elliot Loves day care. When we walk in to Ms. N's house and he hears the kids screaming upstairs he starts kicking his legs so hard and smiling/giggling. He then cries when I come to pick him up, and typically fusses until he goes to bed...that is not so fun for a working mom.

Failed Attempt

On Tuesday (6/5/12) I heard on the news that the Bore Tide was going to be the largest one of the year. So I got off early ran home and woke Jed up, we grabbed Elliot then got on the road. After only a short drive down the Seward Highway the traffic got heavy...then completely stopped around Potters Marsh. There was a line of cars as far as you could see. Apparently everyone else in Anchorage had the same idea and wanted to see the Tide. We turned around, we were already running late and there was no chance  we were going to make it.

We drove up to flat top, but realized we were ill prepared for that hike, so we took some pictures and enjoyed the sunshine. Elliot is so funny! He is the happiest baby (in public, at home he's kind of mean to us)

Day Trip to Talkeetna

 Elliot & I had the opportunity to ride the train from Talkeetna to Anchorage with Heath. I took half the day off work, Jed was working in Fairbanks so he didn't get to come.  Elliot was really good, he wasn't exactly thrilled with the train, he mostly wanted to be on the ground playing. By the time the ride was almost over it was 8pm and he was exhausted and just wanted to go to bed.

We rode the RCT (Royal Celebrity Tours) bus down. Then got on the train in Talkeetna and rode back. Heath had never been to Talkeetna so we were excited to spend some time there, but were disappointed to find out that we went straight from the bus to the train. So we headed back on Saturday. We drove down and ate at Mountian High Pizza Pie, walked down by the river and then went into a dozen gift shops. It was a fun day, and Elliot slept the on the drive. That was nice. When you get a chance to visit Alaska Talkeetna is a must see. I love it there, probably my favorite place in Alaska!

Alaska Winter