Sunday, January 31, 2010

I Cough and Sneeze and Gasp and Choke

by Shel Silverstein
"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

I wish that I was feeling better...but I'm not. I am skipping church so I don't infect all the little children sitting around me. It's been really boring, I've watched a lot of TV, I haven't watched mid-day television for a long time but it is amazing what they have on TV these days! Tyra Banks has a trashy talk show. TLC has a show about women giving birth, that's just weird! Who'd want a camera crew filming your birth?! And the poor camera man is wishing he would've accepted the gig at his local news station. Judge Judy is still around....are you serious?! It wasn't all bad I got caught up on my E! News and I was able to see how all my dear celebrities are doing. Plus I got to watch a bunch of What Not to Wear re-runs and my favorite was Joan Rivers and her Fashion Police Team critiquing the red carpet gowns for some award show! Boy does Joan Rivers get a lot of botox!

But overall Jed took care of me, he did all the grocery shopping and made dinner. He's been really great, but now he's catching what I is so unfair.


  1. Ha! I love your TV commentary. We turned our cable off a while ago and just barely turned it back on so we could watch the Olympics. I went to watch it last night and turned it off after a few minutes because there really isn't anything good on. Apparently I wasn't missing much by not having TV all these months. Feel better soon! Are you still in YW's? I was thinking you had a YW calling but can't remember. I hope Jed doesn't sick on you. Most husbands I know turn into little children when they get even the tiniest cold. I hope Jed isn't like that :)We need to catch up someday!

  2. We have it hear too..apparently its going around! Hope you feel better soon!

  3. Husbands turn into babies? You should see Sarah when she is sick. ;-)

  4. I am suprised she hasn't started crying that she wants her mommy yet. but you are a good man to take care of her.

  5. I was sickly this weekend too. I slept all day today. Seriously, I slept until noon and then napped from 3-5. now it is midnight and I am off to bed again. FEEL BETTER and when you do we need to get together!

  6. get as much sympathy as you can, while you are in Alaska. You know how much you would get here.